They never argue.
Believe it or not, you should argue. Silence and avoidance can affect a relationship. Juliana Morris. “If you just do not have to worry about it, something is missing,” says relationship expert Dr. med.
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While not all struggles are productive, it is healthy to resolve arguments in a way that benefits marriage, she says: “You fight each other, you fight for the relationship, the biggest problem is when there’s no fight gives more. “
Winning is everything.
While struggles (total detachment) can never be a sign of impending divorce, the way you argue when you have a disagreement is another clue. “Ideally, you want a conflict resolved in a way that maintains the relationship,” says Morris. “When fighting is more about showing one’s fingers, blaming and winning, the focus is on power and not on connection.” And that, she says, is a red flag.
You want to provoke your spouse.
If you find yourself constantly testing how far you can advance your marriage before it breaks completely, play divorce roulette. Sunny Joy McMillan, author of Unhitched, says that it is possible for you to unconsciously quit things but be afraid to take the step when you first try to cross your spouse’s threshold.
For example, if you find your computer for an inappropriate (meaning flirting) email exchange, you can secretly hope that your spouse will find it so he can initiate a conversation about why you were unhappy.
They make your heart race.
We do not talk about the tripping of love. We refer to full, heart rate-increasing stress. If you have a negative physical reaction when your spouse enters the room, it’s important to pay attention to what your body says, says McMillan.
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When your heart becomes heavy and your stomach becomes a knot every time you remember to stay in your marriage, your body lets you know that it may be time to leave. “Our brains can lie to us,” says McMillan. “Our body, on the other hand, is the incorruptible fortune-teller.”
You hide your true self.
If you feel rejected, if your spouse sees “everything” that you are, it is impossible to be in a fulfilling relationship, says Lauren Lake, a relationship expert and judge in the paternity court.
“If you’re constantly filtering yourself or keeping your beliefs away from your spouse, your opinion is a lack of respect, and that’s hard to fix.”
They are overcompensated on Facebook.
Social media is funny. It produces an extremely edited version of our life. It can also be a Trojan horse that hides the reality of an unhappy marriage. Morris says it’s usually an attempt to obscure the truth when you or your partner suddenly start communicating through social media. The most constant need is, the world to show, that is to say, it is much less than it is.
Children (or work or friends) come first.
All these external influences can have a positive effect on a marriage. But when one thing begins to take on the relationship and there is little room left for a partner to spend time and attention on the relationship, it can take its toll, say Keith and Dana Cutler, married lawyers working in their award-winning Emmy Look as judges, Couples Court with the Cutlers.
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The cutlers have noticed that “if these influences are anything they talk about and what they think about, they can write a wedge between spouses, and the gap can be so great that the prospect of divorce will stare them straight in the face.”